Alafia ... *lets head fall weightlessly back with mouth open* sigh lol
I've always heard the statement or phrase rather, "Oh that woman runs that man" and never really understood what the saying meant. I truly just thought that it meant that he listened to his woman, "happy wife, happy life" right. Because , let's face it , the world basically runs off of that one saying alone. Nobody says anything about a happy husband ... And As women we never really take the time to think about what both of these sayings may be actually doing to the men who have to deal with the other side of our happiness or on the other side of our need to control and organize every aspect of our lives, to the means that we see fit.
..(which is a spell in itself.. because you're calculating and manifesting ritualistically)
But when does it become a situation where these sayings are taken too literally? or too far? What if the man isn't even himself anymore because he is trying to live up to the standards that you have set as to what should and should not be in your world. Because he is in deed in love with you and genuinely can't see his life without you as his partner... If he reluctantly goes with your flow to keep the peace or because "That's just how she is" Leaving no room for compromise where he is concerned for him and who he is ... he may ultimately be left to feel emasculated in some way or another.
I mean , I get it! I understand chile. I pay all of my own bills, and made sure I rolled how I needed to roll pre man .. so why does my show have to stop because he arrived?! ... Well when you put it that way , it sounds like he's not cared about at all. Right ! He has two options ... My way or My Way ! Because the highway is gonna go MY way. Like total control freak 101... and although you may listen to him ... who's convenience is prioritized more?
If it's yours, and you're constantly being reminded of how you may or may not have him acting "different" ... chile you may be dealing with a Taboo...
Webster defines Taboo as prohibition or restriction .
In other words ... Spellbinding behavior. Ultimatums in energy and such ...
He just can't leave you alone?. Have you done something that would be considered a taboo for him and binded him?
One thing that is essential to anyone's spiritual wellbeing is their own individual relationship with God. Lots of times in relationships one partner prays more than the other. In many relationships the couple doesn't pray together at all. So when faced with a situation where a woman is praying for her man's wellbeing more than he is , she may be spellbinding him. It is ok to pray for him, but it is not ok to order his steps in your prayers. You cannot control his will, therefore you can only pray that God protects him and blesses his and your union and destiny's . You cannot altar anyone's destiny with your prayers to God. You can pray for his wellbeing in any way that he may ask you to of course, you can pray for his uplifting and all things positive, but you cannot pray to manipulate him. You cannot pray to make him want to pray either. A relationship with God first begins as an individual journey and cannot be forced on someone if they are not ready for it.
Destiny is very important in everyone's life, and everyone is formatted and designed in a nature that is unique and specific to them.
In Ifa it is explained through Odu and ese which are, if I may nerdily say lol , scientific mathematical calculations that give you the problem and of course the solution. A full on equation... but what if that isn't your cup of tea and you still want to know if your man is under a taboo because of you and he can't truly be himself?
Do the simplest thing that you can do, talk to him. Ask him his goals and his plans. Ask him what he likes to do an what truly matters to him. Frequency plays a major role in any relationship and your frequencies have to match in the best ways. It should never be a situation where one of you feels inferior to the other in a relationship. Or that the attraction itself is based on toxicity. And if the man is somehow trying to fit into "your world and your standards" then in some way he feels as if he is not good enough for you.
Compromise is important at this point. Do your individual visions for life match in a way that the two of you can come together? Are you on the same frequency? Are you on the same page mentally and spiritually? Are the behaviors that you exhibit in your relationship controlling? Does anyone get ultimatums if they do not do what the other one WANTS? There are lots of questions to ask when dealing with unseen forces that we possess, one of the easiest ways to control this power is to remember to keep your head ABOVE and away from ego, as ego wants it their way for their benefit. Love is for the benefit of all in a positive healthy manner.
Food for thought. Make sure it isn't hurting him spiritually, mentally, and eventually physically to make you happy. When you could balance one another and be each-other's
pleasure and peace.
Furthering down the rabbit hole is the ever so easy accidental spell binder, Sex....
Stay tuned for the next Taboo blog ;-)
YaYa B. KiKi