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Allowing Myself to Be


Prior to Ifa and Palo Mayombe, or even a true road-map as to where my ancestors were leading me , I trusted Oludumare. I can remember the very first time I prayed to Oludumare and how elating it was to have a prayer that felt more like a conversation. As in, an engaging conversation, one that I could see not only with my spiritual but physical eyes before me, the more I prayed the more extraordinary and beautiful the elemental reactions would be. Words couldn't describe the feelings, thoughts, or emotions that ran through me in those moments. I knew that I had to remember, I knew that I had to do what I needed to do to remember. So I grabbed a blanket, some gemstones/crystals, and sat in my Mom's backyard by my favorite trees and Meditated almost daily. I would meditate for hours and hours until I'd fall asleep. During these meditations I would see the most fascinating things....

everyone and everything would be clear when my eyes would "peel" open in this weird way after being closed for hours, like literally, everyone was in a bubble; OR, I'd see the most beautiful color and shape combinations swirling around in my head. My thoughts would go from my mantras, to nothing. My mind and body also finally (I'm gonna use finally a lot because I was on a mission) were in a state that I had longed to experience and had heard much about , peace. A feeling of no worries, not because I didn't care, but because I knew that with God present everything was fine and I was able to acknowledge and trust the feelings of love that I felt. I would then feel freedom, and when I say freedom I don't mean the freedom where you can just go anywhere and do anything that you want to do.. but in this sense I was able to think of myself as the light that I always knew was inside of me. I am Peace. I am Love. I am Life. I am Light. ...

Growing up in Urban areas it is often times for most of us, hard to see the actual good inside of ourselves. No one seems to understand their situations or circumstances on a more spiritually scientific level nor are we taught to think outside of the box, or beyond the standard that was given to us. Although raised Christian most people that I grew up knowing doubted if God even heard their voices, so for me to be merely sitting doing nothing and having an experience that would be called out of body by most people, but in every moment of meditation I can and could always feel the Kingdom and Spirit inside of my body. Embracing goodness and the love of all there is, Oludumare, God Almighty, The Universe ; whichever title you choose to give to God, embracing that love as it Physically lives inside of you, nurturing it. Allowing it to touch you and connect with you in all of the places that it has longed to reach. Being one with the essence that the creator in heaven placed inside of you, for me was the best thing that I have ever done.

Not only did it lead me to my tribes, my family, my purpose, and the discovery of my destiny. But this connection with God, gave me faith. The ability to see God in every living thing. Everything that has life and spirit. By acknowledging and seeing the one-ness and all-ness that is God and is present in every aspect of nature from plant-life, stonelife, water and marine life, animal-life, and even in mankind I was able to find beauty in everything around me... In those moments, in those days when I was finding myself, I was truly finding Oludumare and where exactly she lived inside of me. The comfort of knowing that God is all energies, masculine and feminine, and the manner in which I should and could pray would be from my heart and not by what I thought that I should be doing or saying or reciting as my prayers. That I could truly feel God and pray in the way that God made me feel brings such ayo and joyous happiness in my life. The peace of nature made me want to be one with the nature that was my own.

I wanted to just be. I prayed to live in my power. To live in my purpose and to NOT BE AFRAID! I made a conscious decision to WANT to be "woke" with true knowledge of what comes with it, but not by research without actual application, and not by living recklessly with magic. Although I wanted to find my culture and foundation and to remain genuinely connected, I knew that if and when it was meant for me to ever find the true cultural backgrounds in which I belong to that Oludumare would send me there. My spiritual knowledge is 85% Organic, through strict and heavy daily meditation. Meditation was the only time that could, just, be. And that is one of the reasons why I offer meditations to the world...

So in my perspective, what does it mean to Just, Be? Well ...

If you have faith in and love God, trust in the light inside of you while living in that Faith , knowing that nothing can stop the purpose or the destiny that has been assigned to you and only you by God, because believing is only piece of the puzzle. Do not be down on yourself, speak Life into yourself daily. Pray and thank God through every obstacle (yes there will be obstacles but its about how you face them) , because there is always at least one blessing presented directly to you, and that is your life, at minimum, when you feel lightness in your heart and some weight lift from your load, even if a problem currently exists, then you've accessed the key to grace, "Attitude of Gratitude", and you are sure to be victorious.

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