Allowing Myself to Be


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Prior to Ifa and Palo Mayombe, or even a true road-map as to where my ancestors were leading me , I trusted Oludumare. I can remember the very first time I prayed to Oludumare and how elating it was to have a prayer that felt more like a conversation. As in, an engaging conversation, one that I could see not only with my spiritual but physical eyes before me, the more I prayed the more extraordinary and beautiful the elemental reactions would be. Words couldn't describe the feelings, thoughts, or emotions that ran through me in those moments. I knew that I had to remember, I knew that I had to do what I needed to do to remember. So I grabbed a blanket, some gemstones/crystals, and sat in my Mom's backyard by my favorite trees and Meditated almost daily. I would meditate for hours and hours until I'd fall asleep. During these meditations I would see the most fascinating things....

everyone and everything would be clear when my eyes would "peel" open in this weird way after being closed for hours, like literally, everyone was in a bubble; OR, I'd see the most beautiful color and shape combinations swirling around in my head. My thoughts would go from my mantras, to nothing. My mind and body also finally (I'm gonna use finally a lot because I was on a mission) were in a state that I had longed to experience and had heard much about , peace. A feeling of no worries, not because I didn't care, but because I knew that with God present everything was fine and I was able to acknowledge and trust the feelings of love that I felt. I would then feel freedom, and when I say freedom I don't mean the freedom where you can just go anywhere and do anything that you want to do.. but in this sense I was able to think of myself as the light that I always knew was inside of me. I am Peace. I am Love. I am Life. I am Light. ...